Thanks to Magda, my laptop is now “Czech ready”.

Czech class has been going relatively well. Today we learned how to order food in Czech in a restaurace. So of course after going to the gym today, I went to the deli stand on the way home to buy sandwiches, ordered in Czech, realized he was Turkish and didn’t understand Czech, pointed at the sandwich I wanted, paid and left. Hooray for applying one’s education.

Can I tell you how bizarre it is to be living in some strangers’ house? It feels like I’m some sort of friendly little animal living in their attic that they are feeding out of curiousity. Each morning, there’s a tray of food outside my door which without variance contains the following items:

  • a small pitcher of milk
  • an apple
  • two poppy seed buns
  • a small cup of yogurt
  • 4 slices of cheese
  • 4 slices of a meat, like salami or ham

Each morning, I huddle over this little tray on my bed like a ravenous mouse (since the laptop has taken residence on the desk) and then on my way out in the morning, I leave the tray outside my door where I found it. Other than that, I have very limited contact with the people living downstairs…it usually consists of them smiling at me in the same way that I smile at the finches at Caffe Italy back home, and then me smiling back. I wonder then if after I leave the house, the whole family runs upstairs en masse, grabs my tray, and then brings it downstairs and excitedly huddles around it to marvel at what the critter in the attic has eaten today.

I know that most of this is due to the obvious language barrier…Somehow people automatically think that just because other people speak differently, they also eat differently and have different priorities. If anything, my Czech course has given me the limited courage to start saying a few things here and there. Like today, I came home from the gym, and the mother was cooking (is ALWAYS cooking, and from what I can tell also works every day) and the house smelled just like someone’s mom had been cooking. I waved my hand in front of my nose, rubbed my stomach and said “výborný!” which (I hope) means “good”. She then pointed at me and said that my Czech was also “výborný” which is an obvious lie. So, now I’m starting to think that maybe “výborný” actually means “ass” or “shit”, which would then signify that: 1) I have planted the seeds for the 2015 Czech-American war and 2) She’s absolutely right.

On the other hand, her husband is…how do you say in Czech…a complete geeksky; a tall, lanky, oggly-eyed thing who is always in his room gazing at one of his 3 computer screens. But still, he’s been very nice to me…when I came downstairs today, he took a dog biscuit out of his pocket and offered it to me with that cute little tongue-clicking sound. I didn’t have to sit for it either…

In other news, I have 50 channels of television – none of which are in English. I do, however, get the main Italian station, Rai Uno…so quando arrivo in Italia, parlero’ perfettamente! (e pazzamente, senz’altro!) See there? Why can’t Czech be that easy? Also, I’ve been downloading the Daily Show and Colbert Report every night for my 1 hour of home…Andrew’s probably wishing that he never gave me internet access as I steal all of his bandwidth.

Heard that grandma’s 90th party was a great success…still didn’t hear if she got shit-faced off of white zinfandel. I wonder if she’d drink it still if she knew it usually came in a box. Wendi’s going to be e-mailing me the pics. I would’ve liked to have been there…just one of the many events that I will be missing…next up, Magda’s birthday.

Enough rambling…I PROMISE to have more pictures next time!

Dobrou noc,


P.S. Went to McDonald’s yesterday for the first time in about 2 years, ever since Super-Size Me made quite the impression. I had a bunch of stuff that I’d bought at the grocery store and needed to get it all in my freezer, and Turkish Gyro homey was taking a smoke break…Conclusion: McD’s sucks just as badly here as it does everywhere else that it has polluted the world’s sense of good taste.


~ by parlatorepazzo on March 29, 2006.

9 Responses to “”

  1. Ryannnnnnn, Good talking to you. Looks like I am the first up for comment. I bet Christy will be next.One question, maybe they sneak in and look on your blog to see what you write about your landlords. da, I know about all those little password goodies. Alls quiet now. You should really think about doing what I told you. Love “your mommmm”

  2. Hey Baby

    Thanks for remembering my birthday:)
    I am flattered.

    Put some more pictures on your blog, please… we want more pictures..!

    There is a really cool cartoon called Krtek or Kretik — make sure you watch it! I grew up on Kretik(Krtek)

    PS Sorry to disappoint you Susan I was #2!

  3. Didn’t get around to using the computer till 4:45pm today, so everyone probably read today’s blip before me.

    It made me happy to see you were checking in on my blog on some sort of regular basis. 🙂 I love getting comments…too bad no one ever leaves them.

  4. PP smoocher – Now you know the real PAIN of learning a language with no common point of reference!! It becomes easier once you pick up the roots. It’s pretty cool that I can actually understand you after familiarizing myself with it’s evil step-brother. Try this tongue twister from hell – W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie. Yeah, errr, don’t ask.
    Glad to see you’ve reverted to the traditional Meeeeeat and cheeeeese breakfasts of champions. Did your good friends the Roids move back in?
    Christy – don’t forget about the incredible celebrities that have stopped by your blog – I believe a reputable captain from outer space. Hoever, reports are coming in that this visit may have been forged.

  5. What a nimrod you are. Come back home-your parole officer is looking for you.

  6. You’re hilarious! Reading your stuff just now at work.

    Yep, you missed a real rager last Monday. Dominic punching Joe in the #@*&, Shirley getting sloshed and spitting on herself during Mom’s speech…but seriously, everyone was in fine form. Grandma couldn’t hear anything anyway!

    Sounds like your neighbors are interesting people.

    In reference to Mom’s comment, you really should stop hiding your dirty underwear under the bed.

    Glad to hear you are well. Sorry to hear the language is so archaic. However, I am sure you will attain your goal. You are intelligent enough, although sometimes too much…;o)


  7. Hi Ryan!
    Are you planning to visit Krakow? Let me know 🙂 And have fun in Praga!

  8. Ryan, We just got back from visiting Spain and seeing Breeann. She is leaving for a 2 weeks on Spring Break. She will be traveling to Prog for a couple of days. If you happen to see 8 American students traveling about it might be her! Our trip was wonderful and we had beautiful weather. Keep posting pictures and stories. They are great!

    Lee Anne

  9. Man – this blog is getting old – fast! I’m tuning in to Borat’s blog of Kazakstan from now on.

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